It started off as a quiet night. John was upstairs doing some bits on the computer so I could get on with work the next day, I was watching TV and surfing the web. *DING* a message from upstairs, filled with love and romance "Do you want to snuggle in bed and watch question time?"
Hmmmm... a toughie that one as I LOATHE question time but can't resist a cuddle... I finally agree and head upstairs and get ready for bed. As I was sat on the loo, it occured to me that my period hadn't started today as it should so I suppose I could do a quick pregnancy test. We had been trying for over a year and had had many false alarms, missed periods where I couldn't bear to do the test in case I jinxed it. Eventually after a couple of days my period would turn up or I would eventually take the test and hopes would be dashed. Did I even have any spare tests, should I bother? After all, it was highly unlikely this month - we time when I was ovulating was the weekend of my cousins wedding which surely would have been a romantic "sex-me-up" type occasion where it not for the fact that John and I were sharing a room with my sister... Buuuutttt it would mean missing the first few minutes of Question time.... I rummaged through the cupboards to find the last one, lurking at the back, peed on the damn thing and carried on getting ready for bed.
I almost didn't bother checking the test before heading to bed but when I did I yelped and dived for the instructions (I hadn't bothered looking at them before -what was the point?). WHAT THE HELL DID CROSS MEAN?! Was it a cross to say sorry you did it wrong again this month or a plus to say you were 1 plus another now?! Damn it, I seem to have lost the ability to read!
Hmmmm... a toughie that one as I LOATHE question time but can't resist a cuddle... I finally agree and head upstairs and get ready for bed. As I was sat on the loo, it occured to me that my period hadn't started today as it should so I suppose I could do a quick pregnancy test. We had been trying for over a year and had had many false alarms, missed periods where I couldn't bear to do the test in case I jinxed it. Eventually after a couple of days my period would turn up or I would eventually take the test and hopes would be dashed. Did I even have any spare tests, should I bother? After all, it was highly unlikely this month - we time when I was ovulating was the weekend of my cousins wedding which surely would have been a romantic "sex-me-up" type occasion where it not for the fact that John and I were sharing a room with my sister... Buuuutttt it would mean missing the first few minutes of Question time.... I rummaged through the cupboards to find the last one, lurking at the back, peed on the damn thing and carried on getting ready for bed.
I almost didn't bother checking the test before heading to bed but when I did I yelped and dived for the instructions (I hadn't bothered looking at them before -what was the point?). WHAT THE HELL DID CROSS MEAN?! Was it a cross to say sorry you did it wrong again this month or a plus to say you were 1 plus another now?! Damn it, I seem to have lost the ability to read!
I have always planned that, when I found out I was pregnant, I would be calm, not tell John immediately, go to the doctors to confirm it and then find some romantic way to break the news to him. What ACTUALLY happened is I ran screaming and naked as the day I was born into the bedroom garbling something like "Don't get too excited cos its early days yet and I may have done it wrong but LOOOK!!!" at a pitch that had dogs for miles around perking their ears up in interest.
John's immeadiate response was to make me go get the instructions and verify that I did it right and read it right. Typical bleeding man! He then wants to know if they can provide false positives and my response is "Of course they can but only a tiny percentage". So OF COURSE that tiny percentage must be us, right?! So after a little debate, we headed off to the nearest 24 hour supermarket to buy another test. But why stop at one? We came home with three, but not before sitting in the car park eating sarnies and me drinking as much as possible so I would be able to pee again when we got home.
This time, John insisted on doing the test himself as I OBVIOUSLY could not be trusted with such things as I hadn't kept an eye on the time and just checked when I was ready for bed and it (after he hid it for the full 3 minutes so I couldn't see) confirmed the first test. Of course, it was now no longer late night and instead early morning and we were both knackered but it took quite some time and frenzied giggling and tears beofre we calmed down enough to go to sleep...
So basically, it was an evening of thrills, spills and lots of tears, but lets not loose sight of the real issue here - I DIDN'T HAVE TO WATCH QUESTION TIME!!!!
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